(SPEAKING SPANISH)
Only a hardheaded gringo... Would come down here...
On a rescue mission... ALL ALONE
This gringo is not going to talk.
Then kill him.
C'mon, the General's expecting us.
(CAPTOR EX CLAIMING)
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
You can't use your gun...
...Shoot him with his.
(EX CLAIMS EX CITEDLY)
(LAUGHING)
(CLICKS)
It's not working.
(CLICKS)
(SNIGGERING)
This asshole's gun has no firing pin.
Leave him.
The dogs haven't had to kill for their food in a while.
Next time, amigo,
plan ahead.
(LAUGHING)
Oh, I'm such a bad Catholic.
No, you're just sick in the head.
Don't forget the General's money.
That gringo bribed the wrong cop...
...and brought a gun with no firing pin.
(CAPTOR CALLING DOGS IN SPANISH)
(SNARLING)
(HANDCUFFS SHACKLING)
(DOGS WHIMPERING)
(BEEPING)
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
(HOUSE OF PAIN PLAYING)
Catch me if you can I'm in 'em old school Barkley's
Back to the fence puffin' on that Bob Marley
Flow like oregano
You already know my competition's stiffer than Ronald Regan
Let it go
For you be a mother...
You scrap it's too animated like The Incredibles
Let this beef go around like the twenty six's
It's young Game of flame
Welcome to the House of Pain
B.A.: Where's my girl, fool?
She cool, man. She in there. She's still fine as hell.
So that's it? Bada-bing, you out of the game?
Done with the whole trade?
- Yeah. - Well, that's the problem, Bosco.
You either keep doing that,
or you do a 15-year bid in a Mexican prison
with Cheeto's cousin in there.
Same old shit. You choose how to flush the toilet, brother.
That's right. Easy way or the hard way.
(CRACKING KNUCKLES)
(EX CLAIMING)
(GRUNTING)
Come on!
JAY: Okay, street soldier. Shit.
But watch yourself, B.A., now, you gonna lose your oldest friend here.
What's up, girl? You miss me?
Because I missed you. Yes, I did. It's been too long, baby.
Way too long.
(WOMAN STRUGGLING)
FACE: Heck of a place.
Just a heck of a beautiful place.
Is this a time-share? I'd love to get in on this.
I like this whole Santa Fe motif you got going here, Tuco.
It's very Arizona, very Tex-Mex. It's good. It's good.
Maybe we can get the guy at my six
to whip up a couple of quesadiches, you know?
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
I want the flames to be seen by the Martians.
(APOLOGIZING IN SPANISH)
TUCO: Americano, gringo.
- Army Intelligence. - Who's that?
- You, man. - (LAUGHS) No.
You're not so intelligent because you're stuck in some tires.
I'm happy. I'm happy.
Doesn't get any better than this, right?
- I'm living the dream. - You are!
You're gonna come here...
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
...to throw me in a bag across the border...
...but instead you have sex with my wife.
Well, first of all, she's so hot,
and we both hate you. So that's just sort of how it...
- Good morning! - TUCO: Good morning, man!
Now it's a party! (LAUGHS)
- Is that your best shot? - Now it's a party, man!
(SHUT UPPLAYING)
A- ha, okay, what's up? Shut up
Whoa!
Okay, what's up? Shut up
I got a pocket full of B's Cocoa weed and ain't got no place to go...
(GUN COCKING)
Oh, hell, no.
Slide over slowly.
You jacking me?
What is this, opposite day?
I'm not a thief. But if I don't reach my friend in time, then he dies.
If you ain't a thief, I guarantee you ain't a killer.
(GUN COCKS)
Take your left hand off the wheel and your right hand off the shifter now.
You ain't gonna shoot me in the head, pops.
You know that ain't happening.
(GROANING)
What the hell's wrong with you, man?
You shoot a total stranger?
I don't even know you, fool. Damn.
It'll heal, I promise.
- Here, wrap it in this. - I know how to make a tourniquet, fool.
I know it hurts, but I had to make a point with you.
That ain't what's pissing me off.
You shooting my van is what's pissing me off, man.
What's wrong with you?
(B.A. GRUNTING)
You Army Ranger, son?
Be real careful of what you say next, pops.
And be ready to empty that burner if you start shit-talking my battalion.
Colonel Hannibal Smith. 75th Ranger Regiment.
4th Battalion. Fort Benning, Georgia.
I know who you are, sir. Corporal B.A. Baracus.
I mean, it was till I was dishonorably discharged for some bullshit.
I don't subscribe to coincidence, Corporal.
I believe that, no matter how random things might appear,
there's still a plan.
(ALL SPEAKING SPANISH)
We fed him to the dogs.
HANNIBAL: That here in the middle of the Mexican desert,
when I needed him most,
I'd find a fellow Ranger.
(SIGHS) Boy.
Now, I need your help to save another.
(BEEPING)
TUCO ON RADIO: Bad news for you today!
This rescue that's coming, we fed him to the Rottweilers
- about an hour ago. - You know what's funny?
Is that you actually believe that you got me.
(ON RADIO) You actually think you're gonna kill me.
Can you drive?
Better than anybody you've ever seen, sir.
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
Nobody knew where you were hiding...
There was no intel... until now, asshole.
TUCO: In a few minutes I'm gonna be having a cold beer,
and you are gonna be on fire. Take care, my friend.
- Alpha, Mike... - WOMAN: No!
... Foxtrot.
Think about it.
Adiós, mother...
(ALL SHOUTING)
Hannibal!
What are you doing?
Get in!
B.A., move.
FACE: This is bullshit!
Ahora, muerto!
FACE: Stop it! Please stop!
Please stop! Stop it! Stop! Please stop!
How's your day going?
This is not going to taste good.
(VOMITING)
Baby, I just threw up.
Let me get some gum. Let me just get some gum.
Did you see that? Did you see Tuco's face?
When you came over, that was unbelievable!
- How many times did I say it? - The timing was perfect.
- How many times did I say it, Face? - It was so beautiful.
- I told you not to take down Tuco alone. - What?
Well, you...
You know what? I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I didn't have the Hannibal Smith How-to Manual.
- Okay? I had to move. - And that move snowballs, Face.
You almost got yourself killed.
Which almost got me killed and almost got him killed.
Thank you. Peck.
Baracus. It's all good.
I was just trying to save her.
- Save her? - Yeah.
How? Please, do share with us your plan, Face.
Okay, I hadn't thought about that yet.
Exactly. I had to.
(ALL CLAMORING)
(ORDERING IN SPANISH)
- Mike. - Boss. How the hell are you?
- Still chewing the same dirt? - I am, unfortunately.
- So what have you got for me? - I got a fast bird doing pizza runs.
- The call sign is "Hatchet." - Hatchet. Okay.
This is yours.
And your pilot, if you wanna call him that, is somewhere inside.
- Be careful, boss. - I owe you one, okay?
- Let's not wait till Bragg again, huh? - Three years.
B.A.: How am I gonna just leave my girl like this, after all that?
I had to fight to get her back.
Leave the keys and we'll come back for her.
Find a treatment room, Corporal.
Make it quick. I'm gonna find our pilot.
Hey.
(CHUCKLING)
Hey, Doc, you got a second for a wounded vet?
DOCTOR: Highly decorated combat pilot.
You ask him, he thinks he's the best in the world.
But he's a functioning lunatic.
Last week he tried to escape by jump-starting an ambulance.
Clear.
Damn it!
My kind of guy.
It almost hit your tattoo there.
NURSE: Has anyone seen Mr. Murdock?
- The old Ranger tat. - Mr. Murdock?
Would you think I was crazy if I told you I had one of these?
Something wrong with your eyes, man.
- Mr. Murdock? - Not while I'm operating, nurse.
- Not now. - Why are you off the ward?
Is that gas? Is that you?
- I smell gas. - What do you mean, "ward"?
- What ward? - This man is a patient here.
Is this you? Don't listen to her, she's crazy.
Honestly, I'm a practicing doctor at Johns Hopkins University.
- Did you ask him to do a lightning bolt? - I asked for no lightning bolt.
- I'm calling security. - B.A.: What's wrong with this fool?
- Is he crazy? - It is you.
- You on fire, man. - What? What's that?
- What the... - Oh, Jesus!
- You Rangers. I like you! - Are you crazy?
- (ALL CLAMORING) - Hey! Hey, come on!
Corporal, off. Back off!
This is a hospital.
(COUGHING)
- Everybody's met Mr. Murdock. - FACE: Met him?
He lit my arm on fire.
He stitched a lightning bolt in mine, man.
HANNIBAL: Look at me, son.
I'm told you're a hell of a chopper pilot.
The best, sir.
I'm not getting on a chopper with this nut job.
Yeah, that's a good... Is he another one of your projects?
I'm a real soldier. I'm a Ranger, baby.
I'm worried!
I'm a Ranger, sir.
That's good enough for me.
You have been released into our care
- and reinstated, Captain. - I'm not even close to good with that.
Thank you, sir.
Let's get the hell out of here.
(ALL SHOUTING IN SPANISH)
MURDOCK: (IN BRITISH ACCENT) You gorgeous old rust bucket, you.
Did you miss your daddy?
Face, what's the most important part of a well-oiled plan?
To be one step ahead of the enemy,
- not to be running away from him. - Who says we're running?
What, we're going to go in this dinosaur
- with this freak show? - Yep.
(SINGING) You spin me right round, baby Right round
- Rotors are good, sir. - Who is this guy?
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
TUCO: Come on! Let's go!
We've got gringos to kill!
FACE: Murdock, get this thing in the air.
MURDOCK: Hold on, boys!
I'm gonna try something I saw in a cartoon once.
What you talking about cartoons for? Get us the hell out of here!
We got a hot chopper to your six.
MURDOCK: I'm blocking bullets. We're bulletproof.
We're bulletproof, boys!
Oh, heads up.
(EX CLAIMING)
(EX CLAIMING IN ANGUISH)
TUCO ON RADIO: I see you, gringo!
You pancaked my van! I'm gonna kill you, fool!
You can't park there. That's a handicap zone.
- I knew you was crazy! I knew... - This is a mistake.
Fire! Fire! Fire!
Blow them out of the sky.
(ALL YELLING)
I've never tried this before!
Did you see that?
Did you see how he turned the helicopter?
Whoa! There's nothing like some good air-to-air combat, eh, boys?
Don't look at me! Look there!
MURDOCK: He's only got heat seekers left.
Captain, get us out of here.
MURDOCK: Hold on, this could get ugly!
Here we go! Come on, baby, climb!
(ALL EX CLAIMING)
(WHOOPING)
Fire the missiles.
Whoa! Missiles! Come on, come on.
(IN BRITISH ACCENT) That's how we deal with heat seekers, chaps.
We go cold.
(ALL EX CLAIMING)
What the hell?
- (INSTRUMENTS BEEPING) - Face, get him in here!
FACE: Holy, shit! Oh, shit!
Got him!
MURDOCK: Restart. Restart.
(MURDOCK WHOOPING)
Close the door!
I know you're Airborne Rangers, but that was ridiculous!
You're gonna be okay.
FACE: Boss, the idea is to kill Tuco, not the other way around!
One step ahead of the game isn't a plan, kid.
Two to three steps ahead.
Beating an enemy's move before it's even made.
That's a plan.
- (BEEPING) - Hatchet, Hatchet, lock on my LC.
HANNIBAL ON RADIO: General Tuco, you are currently engaged
in unauthorized warfare on United States military personnel.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no! You engaged me.
HANNIBAL ON RADIO: Repeat.
You are engaged in unauthorized warfare on United States military personnel.
Over United States air space.
- What? - Alpha, Mike...
- Foxtrot! ...Foxtrot!
- In other words, Adiós, mother... - Oh, no.
- (ALL CHEERING) - Yeah!
Well done, Captain.
- That was awesome. - That wasn't awesome.
- You are a genius! - I'm never flying again in this thing!
I never should have doubted you, boss!
There's a plan in everything, kid.
And I love it when a plan comes together.
(MAN CHATTERING ON LOUDSPEAKER)
MURDOCK: Gunpowder cooking. Nothing like it.
Face, you want it napalmed or nuked?
Nuke it.
- Nuke it! - Mmm-hmm.
Murdock, burn the hell out of it,
like it was damned.
FACE: Burn the whole place down, buddy.
- You want secret sauce? - No, no, no. None of that anti-freeze.
The secret's out. You crazy. Everybody knows.
FACE: No one can do an anti-freeze marinade like you can, Murdock.
But I got a little Bell's palsy last time I ate that.
It's only partial paralysis. Come on, take it like a man.
SOSA: Yes, sir. I'm having that conversation right now.
We will enforce that. I've got it well in hand, sir.
FACE: I don't think you want me to be in the field partially paralyzed, bud.
Visitors.
Yeah.
(LAUGHING)
Wow, I'm a little taken aback. I'm not gonna lie.
Lieutenant.
Oh, I'm sorry, am I supposed to call you Lieutenant back?
No, you're supposed to call me Captain.
Captain. Captain?
That's right.
Captain Crunch. Look at you. Wow.
So, I guess you said no to the kids, no to the family.
Just no ladder you can't climb, huh?
SOSA: No, no, honey, I just said no to you.
(IN AUSTRALIAN ACCENT) Hello. My name's Percy.
Would you like some pork?
If I broke every bone in your hand, could you still do that?
This is crazy. Three years?
We haven't seen each other for three years,
this is what we're gonna talk about?
What would you like to discuss?
Did you take my Steely Dan CD?
I'm not even going to respond to that.
We listened to it, like, nine times in a row.
We were drinking that crappy cabernet. You remember that?
We were doing something else. What were we doing?
Do you remember what it was we were doing? It was in a bedroom.
You don't remember?
The only thing I remember is leaving.
Which is my fondest memory of you.
HANNIBAL: You guys are the best. Stay out of trouble, you hear me?
Take care. Yes. Thank you.
Keep that on.
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
Colonel, my name is Lynch, I'm with Central Intelligence.
I knew a company man named Lynch back in the first Desert Storm.
Yeah, I come from a long line of Lynches.
You ever stop to consider that maybe the reason nobody trusts the CIA
is because nobody knows your real names?
(LYNCH LAUGHING)
What can I do for you, Mr. Lynch?
I need you to help me to stop Saddam's former flunkies
from stealing over a billion dollars in the next 30 hours.
Now, the only mint outside of the U.S. Capable of printing our money
belonged to the Shah of Iran.
During the Iran-Iraq War, it went missing.
Rumor was, Saddam had stolen it.
And we stole it back during Desert Storm.
Well, you didn't get the engraving plates.
HANNIBAL: It didn't matter.
They would have had to rebuild a mint just to print those bills.
LYNCH: Well, sir,
it's happening as we speak.
Fedayeen thugs have seized what's left of the Iraqi National Mint
to run off billions of dollars in unbacked American currency.
How are they planning on moving the plates and a billion dollars
- out of Baghdad? - Armored convoy,
manned with former Iraqi spec ops.
You know, high speed, shoot-to-kill types.
So how do you plan on stopping them?
Listen, there's some rumors about some top-secret plates
being smuggled out of the city by Saddam loyalists.
Do you know anything about this?
Seriously, if you're going to make a play for these plates,
I'm waving you off right now.
'Cause it's my responsibility and it's my ass.
I'm serious.
- Face? - Mmm-hmm?
I will court-martial you.
- Whoo! Okay. - Hey.
Get the memo.
Tell your beloved Colonel Smith and stay the hell out of Baghdad.
You know,
you never came back. I thought you were gonna come back.
Well, this is me, coming back.
(MURDOCK SINGING IN SPANISH)
(SINGING IN SPANISH)
RAVECH: You think those clowns can really pull this off?
Listen, listen, I would never tell him this,
but they are the best clandestine unit in the four branches,
and they specialize in the ridiculous.
Shadow Peck and the rest of them.
- Do not let them out of your sight. - Yes, ma'am.
- Doesn't diablo mean "devil"? - Yeah, man.
MORRISON: God damn it, Hannibal, what do you want me to do?
If this were my operation and you wanted it,
- you would have the mission. - You let Black Forest deploy on this,
and it's an international incident, I promise you.
They're not soldiers.
They're frat boys with trigger fingers.
- Who's running the ground team? - Brock Pike.
(HANNIBAL LAUGHING)
Pike.
He's a thug. He's a cartoon character. Come on.
Hannibal, we have been ordered, ordered, mind you,
to stay out of Baghdad.
- Cut, dried, the end. - LYNCH: General,
we should find him a little wiggle room, don't you think?
You know, I knew another Lynch, a CIA stooge.
Stationed in Laos, '68.
- No relation. - Are you sure?
'Cause you remind me of him.
I'm due in Kabul in a few hours.
I'll be back here in 4. I'm assuming we're green and go.
Notify me otherwise.
He's wearing body armor in the HQ.
And that should tell you everything you need to know about the CIA.
Now, I want you to know this is not about you losing a step.
I want you to know that.
- Hey. - Hey.
I'm 10 times the man I was when you met me.
- (LAUGHS) Uh-huh. - And twice as fast.
Russ,
the boys and I can get this done, minus the bloodshed.
Those plates can do all kinds of damage.
Don't make me beg.
I'd hate to see you beg, Hannibal.
You've been my friend for a long time.
More importantly,
you and those boys have possibly been
the most valuable military asset I have ever had at my disposal.
Now, you asked me not to make you beg.
Right now, I'm begging you.
Hannibal, please, let this one go.
Listen, B.A., we're extending our stay a little bit.
We're going back into Baghdad.
I thought we was ordered to stay out of Baghdad.
- That's true, but I'm... - PIKE: Smith.
- Pike. - I understand you and your grunts
are now stealing my gigs. I don't like that.
I figured you Black Forest guys would be busy
installing a dictatorship or overthrowing a democracy somewhere.
(CHUCKLING)
It's still the weekend, yet. That's nine-to-five stuff, pops.
Look at you clowns.
You're not soldiers.
- You're assassins in polo shirts. - (CHUCKLING)
We'll make in a week what you guys make in a year.
Cash don't buy guts, kid,
or brains.
And you're short on both.
This is Morrison's base. Bug out of my op.
Let me see, we got one medium tank left.
I'm telling you, there's a reason she came back.
Face, I told you, forget about her.
The levels of ambition on this woman...
I ain't stepping foot in any type of aircraft, Hannibal.
No gliders, paper planes, ultra-lights.
- You ever gonna let me live that down? - No.
Mexico was a long time ago, and I saved your life.
How about thanking me for not whooping your ass at the hospital?
I was an Airborne Ranger until I met you.
And you chickened out just like... (CLUCKS)
- 263 jumps. - Just a thank-you would have been nice.
And one helicopter ride with you screws it up.
Airborne Ranger with a fear of flying. Like a punk!
B.A., for the last time, nobody leaves the truck
once we take it over. Okay?
Staging, movement, action plan.
There's a nice read for you.
(LAUGHING) Hell, yeah, Hannibal. This is it right here.
This is bat-shit insane.
- It's perfect. - This is beyond nuts, boss.
It gets better. (LAUGHING)
B.A., you'll need a piece of contoured metal to make a skid plate.
(WHISPERING) Let's go, fool.
HANNIBAL: Murdock, we'll need a car battery, too.
See if the boys at Black Forest can help us out.
Press credentials, we need them.
Hit the media tent and see what's lying around.
(IN SOUTH AFRICAN ACCENT) Sorry, my friend, I see you've put
the South African microphone at the bottom.
You can't always put the CNN on top.
Private, there are two mics. I don't know if there is something...
(I GOTMINEPLAYING)
I was a moving man in my younger days
HANNIBAL: Murdock, we need a news camera.
See what you can do.
(IN BRITISH ACCENT) All right, sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
Hello. I'm...
I'm in love with you. (LAUGHS)
Listen, we're doing a preliminary poll of...
What are we talking about? Of the pull-out. (LAUGHS)
HANNIBAL: We're gonna need airbags, lots of them.
- What bureau are you with, darling? - Le Monde.
Are you French?
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
Hello, this is General Parker. I need...
Okay. It's for you.
Hey, fool, you need to call an air strike on yourself.
(LAUGHING)
- We're good, mate. I'll meet you. - No, I think we need to get going now.
You need to understand what I'm telling you right now.
HANNIBAL: B.A., we're gonna need a magnet.
- Yeah! - A powerful one.
MURDOCK: You ever seen Blue Man Group?
HANNIBAL: I'll pick up the rest.
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
I'm just gonna go for it.
Ooh, la, la.
MURDOCK: (IN SCOTTISH ACCENT) What would you give for one chance
to come back here and tell our enemies
that they may take our lives,
but they'll never take our freedom!
(ALL LAUGHING)
Ready to go downtown?
Good luck tomorrow.
- Thank you. - Give 'em hell.
General Morrison, where is Hannibal Smith?
HANNIBAL: They go mobile in three hours.
The plates and over a billion dollars
will be loaded into the back of a semi at the mint.
They're overland for exactly 4.6 miles before they reach the bridge.
That's our window, and it closes fast.
(BOTH ARGUING IN ARABIC)
These guys will go weapons hot at the first whisper of trouble.
Face, your point of entry is under the hotel.
It'll be packed with foreign press and private security.
(GRUNTS)
B.A., you're in this alleyway on a stopwatch.
Make sure the bike has V-twins or better.
B.A.: I got something a whole lot better than that.
- Bam! - What about me, boss man?
HANNIBAL: I had a little helicopter here someplace.
MURDOCK: You got some barrel rolls? Some mid-air stalls?
I'm looking for my next near-death experience.
HANNIBAL: Only air support this time, Captain,
but I'll get you in on the next one. I promise.
B.A., I need you to pop that clutch at 0630.
(EX CLAIMING)
Is that me?
Oh, no, I forgot. I'm in an Iraqi sewer. Thanks, boss!
Timing is everything, Face.
This is all about the bull's-eyes.
Why not?
HANNIBAL: From under the semi, you'll take out the truck directly behind you.
(DRIVER EX CLAIMING)
Huh?
HANNIBAL: Now, these guys are gonna be onto you, Face.
B.A., that's your cue for throttle.
Be sure to look both ways before crossing.
And have a nice full tank of gas.
(MEN SHOUTING)
You'll have multiple hostiles on board, B.A.
Escort them from the premises.
(GRUNTING)
If any stragglers sneak up behind, don't worry, I got your back.
HANNIBAL: Gotcha, kid.
Attaboy.
That's all fine in theory, but I still don't see how we get out of Baghdad.
I do.
B. A! Hang a right!
B.A.: All right! Hang on!
(MEN SHOUTING)
- B.A.: Watch out! Watch out! - Heads down!
- FACE: Oh! Nice one, B. A! - (LAUGHING)
HANNIBAL: Face, get the airbags!
Gotta make sure this thing stays locked for later!
Beautiful!
HANNIBAL: One, two, three.
FACE: Hey, boss, airbags do deploy on impact, right?
HANNIBAL: B.A., get in the container.
Contact, rear!
FACE: Shit!
See, this is the part of the plan I don't trust!
Don't worry, Face! The rope will hold!
If I was worried, I'd be nailing myself to the container right now!
Hang on, boys!
(EX CLAIMING)
Bam! Come on! I smoked you!
(ON RADIO) You boys see that down there?
Murdock? What is that fool doing here?
Don't lock me in here. I ain't playing with y'all!
MURDOCK ON RADIO: Hey, boss, you ever play that game at the fun fair
where you try to pick up a stuffed animal with the claw?
This is a lot like that.
That's it!
Did you lock this?
You locked it, didn't you?
Hannibal, open this door right now, man!
What the... Are you hooking this thing?
- You hooking this up to a helicopter? - I got you.
B.A.: What the hell's going on? You ain't that crazy!
Tell me we ain't flying! I'm gonna kill you, fool!
- Boss, is that Bosco? - Get me out of here!
MURDOCK: That's not good. B.A.: Let me out of here!
MURDOCK: That's not good. He is not happy.
HANNIBAL ON RADIO: Russ, we are in the net.
Copy that. I will be there in five.
I've got a big bottle of Blue Label waiting.
A bottle? Make it a case, Scrooge.
- See you in a few. - (B.A. POUNDING ON DOOR)
Who's gonna let him out?
- You! - You!
What you don't realize is, now I gotta kill all of y'all!
I'll kill all of y'all! Hannibal first, then Murdock!
- Boss man. - B.A.: I'm gonna save Face for last!
- Let me try something. - FACE: Go for it.
Is it weird that I'm more scared now than what we just did?
Bosco, it's Murdock.
Murdock, open this door! (BANGS)
I'll make you some of that coconut-curry tapenade that you love.
That might work.
B.A.: With toast points?
Hell, yeah, with toast points. What, you're gonna have that
- with plain old chips? - Let's do this.
- Damn! You tricked me. - There he is.
- There he is! - I hate that!
- Come on! - Get away from me, man!
The only reason I don't kick y'all asses is 'cause you all outrank me.
You should know better! You know I hate flying!
- I'm wet! I stink! - MURDOCK: Hoo! Yeah!
B.A.: And I can't spend none of that money!
MURDOCK: Money can't buy happiness. B.A.: Damn, man!
Hey, Murdock, you cooking tonight. You better get your apron on.
(ALL LAUGHING)
I love it when a plan comes together.
- Hannibal, who was that? - FACE: General?
- Is that the General? - Russ.
- Get there. Get in there. - FACE: General!
- Russ! - General!
General!
Jesus Christ.
Pike.
Contact rear!
BLACK FOREST SOLDIER: Get in there!
HANNIBAL: Get there, get there!
JUDGE ADVOCATE 1 : After conferring, we've decided to demote you
to the rank of First Lieutenant.
JUDGE ADVOCATE 2: Lieutenant Sosa, it's nothing personal,
but you lost those plates.
Those were your responsibility.
JUDGE ADVOCATE 1 : Consider yourself lucky.
Others are going to prison over this.
JUDGE ADVOCATE 2: Good day, Director McCready.
Lieutenant, you're dismissed.
JUDGE ADVOCATE 3: Colonel Smith, this court has been unable to recover
any direct order from General Morrison for you to conduct the mission
for which you're being tried.
HANNIBAL: Your Honor, this was a covert operation
and no official orders were given.
JUDGE ADVOCATE 4: So the one individual who can verify
the legitimacy of this operation is deceased. Is that correct, Colonel?
HANNIBAL: No, Your Honor, not deceased.
General Morrison was murdered.
Colonel, I've been around a long time.
I've seen units like yours. They're outlaws.
Units like that pose a direct threat
to the fabric and fundamentals of our military.
Your Honors, why hasn't Black Forest been brought to trial?
Black Forest and its personnel are not subject to military jurisdiction.
FACE: (WHISPERING) Where's the plan, boss? Where is it?
Where's the escape hatch? Because I don't see it.
- This mission isn't over, Lieutenant. - What mission?
I clear our names. We find Pike and the plates.
- (GAVEL BANGING) - No matter what.
Your Honors, these men were acting under my command.
Any judgment should be levied against me, and me alone.
Absolutely not, sir.
We were all participating in this operation willingly.
I don't wanna be tried separately.
I refuse to be tried separately, sir.
In accordance with the Uniform Code of Military Justice,
this court is rendering guilty verdicts
for each member of this Alpha Unit, or A-Team,
and mandating incarceration in separate maximum-security facilities
for a period of up to 10 years.
You're all hereby stripped of formal rank
and dishonorably discharged.
- This is bullshit, man. - (GAVEL BANGING)
JUDGE ADVOCATE: This session is adjourned.
- (A-TEAM PROTESTING INDISTINCTLY) - (GAVEL BANGING)
Disgraceful.
- Do not touch me, okay? - Captain, stand down.
Order! Order!
Absolute disgrace!
You happy? Are you happy, Charissa?
Colonel, control your men!
- Get your hands off me! - This is a disgrace!
(DOOR UNLOCKING)
HANNIBAL: Well, hello, Mr. Lynch. Long time.
You look very relaxed, Lynch.
A lot of cameras in here.
(SIGHING) Yeah, there are.
Yeah, well, they seem to be having some technical issues at the moment.
May not show up till playback.
Hannibal. Can I call you Hannibal?
I can't call you Colonel anymore.
Six months.
Been waiting for you to bust out of here
and round up the rest of the Backstreet Boys
and lead me to those plates.
Six months and not a peep.
Everybody thought you and your team were working with Pike.
Mmm. Everybody except you.
Pike murdered Morrison. Set me and my boys up and stole those plates.
And I know where he is.
Nobody knows where he is.
It's a single image of him.
Taken about a month ago, somewhere in Europe.
We think it's a grab from a CCTV camera.
Frankfurt, Germany.
(LAUGHS) How did you get that in here?
Time, Lynch.
Give me a minute and I'm good.
If I've got an hour, I'm great.
You give me six months, I'm unbeatable.
I know Pike.
Who's the Arab?
LYNCH: We don't know.
We think he's the deep, dark, hidden hand in this whole thing.
Maybe a broker, maybe a buyer.
HANNIBAL: Lynch, we have common enemies
and you have limited choices.
My team is still your best shot at getting those plates back.
I wouldn't be so sure.
Then why did you make the long drive out here?
You and your boys at Langley want your own private printing press.
That's about as deep as your patriotism goes.
So, what would you need from me?
I swore to my team that I would clear our names.
You of all people must understand the value of a name.
Now, listen.
I want full reinstatement and clean records
for myself and my team.
I can't get you out of here.
Not legally, at least.
This is something the boys at Langley do very, very well.
Make sure the dosage is right.
And when I say right, I mean perfect.
(I'VE BEEN LONEL Y FOR SO LONG PLAYING)
Don't seem like happiness will come along
(SNIFFS) Cuban. What a shame.
Everybody's throwing rocks in my bed
(GRUNTS)
Just can't seem to get ahead in life
Ooh, nothing I do ever turn out right
Won't somebody help me, please?
(SINGING ALONG WITH RADIO)
'Cause I've been Ionely for so long
Don't seem like happiness will come along
I've been Ionely...
(GASPING)
(BELL RINGING)
(GRUNTS)
You are not permitted
in my dojo!
So, Satan walks into this bar...
(GASPING)
WARDEN: Wait a minute. What's this, a lap pool?
A dry steam room?
Yeah, it'll go a long way with the boys.
How in the hell do you pull this off?
It's not who you know, Bob, it's how you know them.
Oh! Did your boy get back from Afghanistan?
Yeah. Thanks for getting him home. His mother and I are real grateful.
- Captain. - Hey.
(WHISPERING) You left something on the bed.
- Could have hid those. - Why would I want to do that?
You drive me crazy. I'll see you at :00.
Hey, LT, thanks for the boots.
Ah! Come on. It's my pleasure, baby!
(THE WASHINGTON POSTMARCH PLAYING ON SPEAKER)
McCREAD Y: Smith has escaped, Lieutenant.
Let me go after him.
Smith and his team were working with Brock Pike and Black Forest.
I can get those plates back for you, sir.
You know I can.
Holla what? Holla who?
Holla me.
Hey. (RATTLES HANDLE)
Hey! Let me out! Hey, hey! Hey!
You are really tan.
Seal that up, nobody goes in there.
Log-in pages from the day in question have been removed.
- Why does that not surprise me? - Torn out.
The cigar was in the spine of that book.
- Subtle. - Now, get this.
This is surveillance from all around the prison, right?
Mmm-hmm.
What you're watching is a signal jammer.
It's high tech stuff. It sends a jamming signal in front of every camera.
Every time we might get a glimpse of him, we see nothing.
Nobody knows who he is.
Which begs a bigger question.
Did the CIA visit Smith in prison?
This sounds kind of crazy, but I think the CIA broke him out.
Who put us on?
The same guy that put us on in Baghdad. Lynch, CIA.
What are we talking about? Clean records? Reinstatements?
All of the above.
What about Pike and the plates?
Payback.
I take it you didn't get religion inside.
No. I got revenge.
Good.
I know a couple of guys that'll feel the exact same way.
I'm counting on it.
Emergency exit now.
Hannibal.
Baracus, don't do it!
PRISONER: Where he going? What's he doing, man?
Baracus! God damn it!
(MOBILE PHONE RINGING)
Sosa.
GAMMONS: So Baracus and Peck are already gone.
- What? Shit. - Murdock's the only one left,
- and he's in Germany. - Right.
(BUZZING)
How did you know that once that door was extracted
- that it would take his weight? - I just did. He's...
- You know, he's what, 225, 230 pounds? - 230. Yeah.
Remember the gag we did in Venezuela seven years ago?
Venezuela. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But that was a midget.
Yeah, I wouldn't go for that.
- Hey, big guy. There he is. - Yeah! He's back.
- Yeah, it's good to be back. - FACE: Come on.
- It's good to be back. - FACE: My man.
- It's good to see you, bud. - You, too, bro. You, too.
- Thanks. - You look well.
It's good to see you guys.
- What? - Where's the Mohawk?
What, you don't like my new do, man?
Do I like it? Well, we got you the clippers. I thought...
Yeah, I used them.
Hey. What's up, big guy?
Come on, you can speak to us.
Guys...
I can't kill anybody.
- What do you mean? - I've taken a vow.
- Vow? - Of non-violence.
I'll still do anything for you guys, you know that.
But I just can't kill, man.
Old habits may die hard,
but they still gotta die.
When I was a kid, all you heard in the hood was,
"Bosco's a badass, out collecting scalps."
That's where the Mohawk came from.
Was always at war.
And that's what warriors are for.
Hannibal, man. I don't miss that life.
I'll help you get Murdock, and right that wrong,
- but I can't kill. - FACE: Even Pike?
Even if killing him would clear your name?
My conscience is the only thing I need clear.
Now, where's that crazy-ass fool?
(HUMMING)
ATTENDANT: Hey, Murdock, you got a package from Annabelle Smith.
Ooh! A movie in three dimensions.
It's so real.
ALL: (CHANTING) Movie, movie, movie...
I knight you.
Sir, you have to put your head down. Stand up and do it again.
When you kneel, you put your head down straightaway.
Looking me in the eye is disrespectful. Do you understand?
Movie, movie...
You're looking me in the eye now. That's wrong.
ALL: Movie, movie, movie...
- Movie! Movie! - Movie! Movie!
Movie...
(SHUSHING)
ATTENDANT: Excuse me, can I help you with something?
Yes. Captain Murdock, where is he?
- ATTENDANT: Right through there. - Thank you.
El diablo.
Okay. (SHUSHES) Settle down.
No talking during the movie.
PATIENT 1 : Down in front!
PATIENT 2: Look, it's 3D, man!
PATIENT 3: I'm sick of 3D.
Captain Murdock.
You remember me from Baghdad?
(MUMBLING)
GAMMONS: Okay, this is pointless. This guy is fried.
RAVECH: Yeah, there's a reason why he's in here.
And his entire team has escaped, except him.
(THE A-TEAM THEMEPLAYING)
PATIENTS: Movie!
Take a look around anyway. Let's make sure he's alone.
GAMMONS: Yes, ma'am.
(ALL EX CLAIMING)
(ALL CHEERING)
Oh, Captain, your chariot awaits.
MURDOCK: Sorry, boys, gotta run! Can't finish the movie.
(IN BRITISH ACCENT) Do let me know how it ends.
Charissa, where are you hiding? Stay beautiful, baby.
HANNIBAL: Punch it, B.A. B.A.: Let's go, fool.
Get the truck!
She's actually shooting at us.
You guys should see these bullets in 3D!
- Murdock, get in here! - It's like we're actually being shot at!
You are getting shot at, you crazy-ass fool!
- Stop right there! - Ram it.
Hey! I said halt!
(ALL EX CLAIMING EX CITEDLY)
Damn! Sorry, dude.
It looks like they're headed for the tarmac.
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
(SOLDIERS CHATTERING)
- Gentlemen. - Holy shit, that's Hannibal Smith.
Are any of you armed and/ or wanted federal fugitives?
- No. - Well, we're both.
- Which means... - B.A.: This is a bad idea.
This is a bad idea.
Stop being a baby. You're a grown-ass man. Get on the plane.
- You're taking the plane? - And that's why I joined the Army.
We gotta finish the escape. Man up and get in there.
The best and brightest. Appreciate it, boys. That'll be all.
Who's got the keys? I just need your keys.
B.A.: What you talking about keys? You don't need no keys for no plane.
MURDOCK: I do need keys. B.A.: For what? This is a bad idea.
We just broke this guy out of a psych ward.
Hannibal, you let the real pilots go.
- B.A., relax. You're gonna be fine. - Take one of these.
What is this? Will it knock me out? It better knock me out,
'cause if it don't, I'm gonna knock you out.
Bosco, the buttons are confusing me.
- Shut up, Murdock. - HANNIBAL: Come on, Murdock. Let's go.
You gonna fly this plane? Forget it. I'll turn myself in.
- MURDOCK: What does this do? - Come on.
- Come on, Murdock. - I got lucky.
- (GROANS) - Hang on, boys.
SOSA: Stop. Stop, stop, stop.
Face, your girlfriend is back.
- Reverse now. - RAVECH: Son of a bitch!
SOSA: Move your ass now.
- The C-130 versus the Mercedes-Benz. - Lift us off, Murdock.
GAMMONS: How about faster? SOSA: Faster!
I'm trying. I got it pinned!
(MURDOCK SINGING IN SPANISH)
Oh, my God!
(ALL SHOUTING)
(WHOOPING)